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How to write thank you notes for gifts you don't like

But what to write in your note? The trick is to focus on gratitude rather than appreciation, and to simply say thank you without saying anything that is untrue.

First of all, here are 5 basic rules for writing a thank you note for something you dislike:

1. Keep your note short and simple

2. Don't gush (Oh my goodness, this is so beautiful!) or write things that you don't feel and aren't true (I've always wanted one of these)

3. Emphasize the giver's thoughtfulness and generosity

4. Focus on an aspect of the gift that you liked (i.e. the quality or colour of an item of clothing), or something positive that can be related to the gift (i.e. your love of reading, in the case of a book)

5. Finally – tempting though it may be – never, never be snide or rude, however horrible the gift

Phrasing your thank you note

After the greeting (Dear Rita,), use the first line of your note to describe the gift in some detail (Thank you for the graffiti design dinner plates...). This personalises your note and helps to disguise your lack of praise and enthusiasm for the gift. You may like to add an adjective to your description – suitably abstract ones that may be interpreted in a variety of ways include: unusual, intriguing, original, impressive and unique. Similarly, you may wish to focus on more abstract aspects of the gift, such as when or where you might use it, how you've read a review of it in the papers (no need to say whether the review was good or bad!), or generally enjoy that kind of item.

For example, in the case of a book you might mention when or where you might have the chance to read it (on your commute to work, during an upcoming holiday...) or your love of reading (You know how much I love to lose myself in a good book!).

Regarding an item of clothing, you might focus on the quality, the warmth or the colour, or perhaps the fact that the item is currently very fashionable. An ornament that is not to your taste may still be praised for its craftsmanship, uniqueness etc.

Remember to thank the giver explicitly for their kindness, generosity or thoughtfulness, or mention how touched you are (It was so kind of you to think of me this holiday season), then finish by turning the focus onto them and asking, for example, about their health, work, family or vacation plans (How is Freddy finding his new job? I do hope you are all doing well and keeping healthy in this cold weather.) Sign off with a friendly greeting and, of course, your signature.

And that's it, job done!

Don't worry too much that the recipient may 'read between the lines' and realise that their gift wasn't the greatest success. You've done your duty by thanking them graciously. And, after all, to some extent you want them to realise that the gift wasn't the greatest, in order to avoid receiving something similar next time!

Thank you note samples and templates for gifts you don't like

Here are some examples that will, I hope, give you a little inspiration for writing these notes for items you don't like:

A romance novel (which you would never dream of reading)

A pair of socks (such a boring gift!)

A hideous tie (that you will never wear)

A large vase (which you find hideous and don't want to give house-space)

An item of clothing that you dislike